Monday, May 29, 2006

ROYCE GRACIE LOST!!!!!!!!!

hughes vs. gracie

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(I'm trying to upload the video, but for some reason Blogger keeps saying the tag isn't closed, I'll keep trying, but for right now, here's the website where you can see the fight.)

OH MY GOD! The Man, The Myth, The Legendary Royce Gracie lost yesterday in UFG 60 to Matt Hughes. OF ALL PEOPLE! I could understand Royce losing to Sakuraba in Pride since the Japanese fighters are of a very high quality, but to MATT HUGHES, the most cockey and hated fighter besides Tito Ortiz in all of UFC history!? Blasphamous!

Firstly I just don't know why Royce was sticking his left arm up around Hughes head like he was. I understand trying to hold his head down to avoid being punched, but you should at least have another arm tied up so that your opponent can't get both of his arms on one of yours to work a submission. Even I know to keep my arms in close in half-guard. If Royce could have gotten both of his legs around Hughes body, he could have pushed Hughes away with his hips and gotten out of the submission attempt, possibly even landing a submission himself. I just don't understand though, usually when Royce is in trouble, he starts hitting his opponent in one spot repetedly to make him uncomfortable and change position a little (this is called a "softening technique"), he just wasn't doing anything. He didn't even try to get out of the side-mount, he gave up his back possibly attemtping to go for some sort of throw, but failed miserably. I just didn't see Royce in that Octagon.

For those of you who are not fighters or Mixed Martial Arts fans, The Ultimate Fighting Championship is a No-Holds-Barred Cagefighting competition that until recently was PPV only. It was started to pit fighters of different styles against each other to determine which style was the ultimate martial art. Back in 1993, fighters from all styles came to represent...Karate, Boxing, Kung Fu, but amid all of these different styles, one style dominated them all. Brazilian Jiujitsu, a martial art that had never been heard of and had only recently been invented by a group of brothers in Brazil, dominated fighters who had lifetimes of study in their art, and a little 160lb guy named Royce Gracie defeated 10th degree black belts who outweighed him by almost double.

He fought in a gi, with a 4th degree black belt out of some godforsaken wild west ranch in some godforsaken part of the world. What Gracie brought to the world of Martial Arts was something that the world had never really thought of before...how to fight on the ground. Before The UFC, the assumption was that if you got knocked down or godforbid voluntarily went to the ground, you're dead! Gracie changed all of that and made Brazilian Jiu Jitsu the most sought after martial art, ending the rein of Mcdojo arts like Karate and Tae Kwon Do as legitimate streetfighting styles.

Soon, other arts emerged from the shadows of the third world. Wrestling, an overlooked sport that no one really ever concidered a martial art, and Muay Thai, a devestating kickboxing style that threw out the notions of form and kata replacing them with power and speed, both were found to be able to hang with the new generation of ground fighters that was emerging. Soon, Judo adapted to the nogi game and added its name to the list of devestating battle-tested arts.

Karate and Tae Kwon Do were not forgotten though. The Martial Arts now had a venue to evolve in, so they did just that. Karatekas studied wrestling to defend takedowns, and submissions to know what they looked like. Grapplers started knocking people out, the term Mixed Martial Artist was born. As existing arts adapted, other arts emerged from all parts of the world. Sambo, Shooto, Sumission Wrestling, French Savate, Vale Tudo and other arts took their turn in the UFC.

Today, The Ultimate Fighting Championship is no longer a ground to test style vs. style, but fighter vs. fighter, since "styles" have been integrated and the well rounded fighter is the fighter who is going to win. Finally allowed on the major cable networks, the UFC has reinvented Martial Arts as we know it, and it would not be anywhere without the works of the Gracie Family.

Royce Gracie, now 40 and coming out of retirement, took on UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Matt Hughes and pretty much got dominated. Hughes, a 175lb 32 year old wrestler beat Royce via referee stoppage in the first round. Royce is just past his prime. But the Hall of Famer Gracie still remains the Giant that he is. Every hero loses at least one, and it is not going to tarnish his image in the least. If it weren't for Royce, there would be no UFC.

If I were Hughes, I would have thrown that fight on purpose, now it doesn't matter that he beat Royce (who is 10 years past his prime), everyone just hates him more, but congratulations to Hughes for winning the fight, and props to Royce for not tapping ever in his entire career!

Monday, May 22, 2006

Catholics...Get Over It!

What’s all this noise about The Da Vinci Code? Wow, no one made a big deal about Independence Day when it was released, even though it had to do with Area 51 and the end of the world as we know it. No one made a big fuss over National Treasure either, even though it’s exactly the SAME FREAKING MOVIE only with the bible instead of the Constitution! How about Tomb Raider, didn’t we already see this movie like 20 times?

What is this movie? Okay, from what I understand, it’s a couple of guys going on an Indiana Jones adventure to find the Ark, or the Grail, or some godforsaken artifact that’s just really important to have. Hey, maybe it’ll give immortal life and we can sell it at retail value!

What Da Vinci Code and a bunch of other predecessors and spawned writings claim is that the Holy Grail is actually the bloodline of Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene… Jesus’ wife. Wait…I know that religion! Polygamy!...I mean Mormonism! Oh I don’t know what I mean. I’m just kidding.

I haven’t read the book, but I did see the piece that Discovery Channel did on it. It’s actually all very plausible and I half believe it. I can believe that Jesus was a human being with a wife and children, after all it’s been proven that he had brothers and sisters, but what I don’t buy is all this “Holy Grail” mess.

The mess was supposedly about a cup. For centuries, people have been searching for a cup which honestly IMO disintegrated around 2000 years ago with the rest of the Tupperware at Jesus’ friend’s place where he had The Last Supper (they probably used it the next morning at breakfast, sheesh what do you think happened to it?).

Anyway, it was brought to the attention that “The Grail” might not be a cup, but a bloodline, a secret bloodline of Jesus entrusted to an organization of Knights to protect. Dude, Jesus had ninjas (ironically ninjas existed around the same time as Christ lol)!

A secret society called the Priory of Sion was supposed to protect the bloodline. A real organization? Right, that’s why the founder admitted to the staging of the TV interview and the administration of a hoax. All of these hoaxes have driven people insane running around the world drilling holes in ancient churches and ruining the really pretty floors to find a cup which disintegrated around the time that the Great Wall of China was built. I have an idea! If I wanted to hide the Holy Grail, I’d hide it in the most unlikely place…a Buddhist Temple. Or, if the Grail really does exist, we all know its buried deep within the impenetrable vaults of the Vatican where no outside eyes have ever set foot so that no one can prove that God doesn’t exist.

Jesus was not God. His real name wasn’t even “Jesus,” it was Joshua. If there is a bloodline, the descendants don’t have super powers, aren’t part of some secret holy clan, probably did not do anything worth while to change the world unless by some chance and were probably even wiped out in the Holocaust seeing as the bloodline was most likely Jewish, and I'm willing to bet money that at least someone in Jesus' extended family was gay. Anyone want to bid that Jesus was autistic (like most of the brilliant minds)? The Last Supper painting may or may not have Mary Magdalene sitting next to Jesus as opposed to St. Peter, the figure does look awfully feminine. Then again, so does Leonardo Da Vinci’s individual painting of St. Peter’s face because supposedly that was where Da Vinci’s interest lay (??). I’m pretty convinced myself that it is a girl, but you know, I really don’t care. It’s a beautiful painting and if it really was Mary Magdalene, then the only people it would really affect are feminist groups.

Basically, according to The Discovery Channel, the whole deal of a cup at The Last Supper being saved was was invented by some writer of the romantic era mid 15th century and later messed up by another author mid 17th centruy who mispelled "San Greal," meaning Holy Grail, as "Sang Real," meaning Holy Blood. Dammit Spellcheck!

Not to mention that the author stole the idea anyway. He’s being sued big time by four other authors whom he stole ideas from. My sister is going through a whole ordeal where someone stole her idea, why am I going to go support the author when he wasn’t even the author? I can spend my money better, he ain’t getting my $10.50.

Even though I really like Tom Hanks, I’ve already seen this movie so many other times. My recommendation, don’t see this movie, not because you’re a “good catholic,” but because it’s STUPID! A remake of Tomb Raider and Indiana Jones, and probably not even a good thriller. Go see Mission Impossible 3, that movie was awesome!!!!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

United 93 Movie Came Too Soon

United 93

I’m hesitating to see this movie. I’m undecided on whether I should see it at all. It feels too much like I’m buying the tragedy. Like I’m making it easier for backstabbing business to profit off other people’s suffering, including my own. I don’t know if I want to see this movie.

For those who don’t know. United Airlines Flight 93 was the fourth hijacked airplane that was attempting to crash into The White House. The passengers rose up and, according to reports, caused the plane to instead crash into an open field. There were no survivors.

I think it’s too soon. Vietnam movies didn’t start being made until as much as 20 years after the war. There’s a war still going on right now, and we’re already making movies about it? Regardless of what we like to think, no, we really don’t have all the facts, we don’t know how things are going to be in 3-5 years, and any media produced in that time just has a queasy feeling to it. It seems like propaganda.

What about the theory that it was shot down? I mean it was headed for the White House, it's government policy to shoot anything that’s a threat to the Head of State. It would make sense. Supposedly the passengers rose up and neutralized the threat of a suicide bomber, but never made it into the cockpit. How did they bring down the plane then? Then again, the hijacker pilot could be heard chanting a prayer as the plane was going down. I’ll bet conspiracy theorists are salivating over this. I just don’t know.

September 11th has touched my family as well. The window washer of the 2nd Tower was a long time classmate of my father’s, they escaped Communist Albania when they were kids. Time did a piece on him, I forget his name off the top of my head. He was apparently in the process of taking people down in his carriage when the Towers fell. He never made it down.

It just doesn’t feel right. It feels too soon. It makes me angry thinking that this happened. It summons enormous rage at those involved. What keeps me sane is that I still have faith in my country, that we will do the right thing, that even if we’re bending our own morals almost backwards, we will make things right. Moussaoui, don’t worry, he’s not going to a Maximum Security prison in Iowa, we all know where he’s going…He’s headed to Guantanamo where he’ll have a lot more hell than the laws of our country will allow. We’ll turn a blind eye though, just this time.

My only qualm with United 93...I wonder how long after September 11th the film industry buffs waited to start bidding on the movie rights.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Can't Spell Crap Without Spelling Rap

You know you’re a child of the 90’s when you can rap the entire song to Fresh Prince of Bel Aire. Boy do I miss the 90’s. The 70’s was funky, the 80’s was retro, but the 90’s…the 90’s was Crisp. Original. Back when P. Diddy was still Puff Daddy and “More Money, More Problems” was the song of choice. When NWA was alive with a message, and the Beastie Boys were the original white rappers. Before the word music was cut from “rap music,” rap really was that, music.

Now one really can’t spell crap without spelling rap. I mean, what is this shit I hear on the radio? I hear people going by names that aren’t even names, like “50 cent.” WTF!? Who the hell would call themselves “fifty-cents?” Is that how much it cost to make your album because IT SUCKS! The rap of today talks about nothing but sex sex sex, bitches bitches bitches, slap that hoe, kill that cop, get rich or die trying, killing prostitutes and going to jail is cool, not to mention not knowing how to speak English. Aw hell naw not nobody who speak that proper English is dope dawg. Word cuz!

I mean back when I was growing up, rap used to talk about problems that were happening in the real world. Rap was the artists’ way of yelling at the institution, or just talking about the good times. It was urban expressionism, talking about how it really was back in those days, or talking about how it could be. Rap really was poetry.

Now its not even called rap anymore, its called hip hop, or R&B, or Soul, or Thug, its like they dragged the name “rap” through the mud so much that now artists will do anything to keep from falling into the “rap” genre, they’ll do anything to not be labeled “that music that ruins young people’s minds.” What happened to the music that started revolutions? What happened to the message that sent Huey Newton through the White House without a business suit? Rap music was labeled disruptive because it got young people to rise up, get active, say no, start something, change something! Unfortunately, I think the true rap genre is dead.

Why would anyone listen to rap now? All rappers today talk about is doing drugs, killing innocent people, and degrading women. I’m a women, I’m more than a bitch or a hoe and no you can’t take me to the “candy shop.” I thought rap was supposed to have a message, like back when NWA was around, what’s your message? “Its hard out here for a pimp?” Sorry “cuh” you can sell your c“rap” to anyone who will buy it, but its not going to be me.

Why Are Girls So Stupid?



I remember a time during my freshman year of high school when I was falling into the crowd. I was on the cross country team, surrounded by girly girls and gay guys. I had been a hardcore tomboy my entire life, but the influence my effeminate friends had over me was getting to the point where I was starting to wear makeup.

One day I came to school wearing this really cute mid-drift top from Forever 21, and my hair was up in this pig-tail style that Claudia did for me. I thought I looked really cool, and carried myself with the grace of a true American girl.

Then my Algebra class rolled along. It was report card day. I wasn’t too concerned about my grades, I was more concerned about whether I looked like a dork or not. I noticed the girls that were sitting next to me. They were dressed really cute in the ultra-tight clothing that was popular at the time. I couldn’t get over how stylish they were. I wanted to know where they got their clothes so that I could go buy them with my mom later in the week. Envious, I listened in on their conversation.

“WOW Roxanne! Oh My God!”

“What did you get?”

“I GOT A D!”

“Really?”

“Hell yeah! My mom’s gonna pay for this! This is the third time I’ve taken this class and I finally passed!”

“I got a D too, but its in English, I don’t care.”

The chances of getting hit by a falling meteorite are slim to none…I got hit by a big one. I didn't want to be like these girls! That’s not how I saw myself, and that’s not how I wanted to be. I flashed back to younger years, and adventurous hikes up mountains back home, of playing tag in the woods and running with my dogs, of climbing trees and tether ball. I remembered who I was.

At the end of the period, I ran into the bathrooms, washed my face, took down my stupid hair style, threw it in a pony tail, changed into a t-shirt I used for running, and never looked back.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Why Do Guys Stare?

Why do guys do that? They stare at you in groups of two, seemingly sizing you up, and even when you look back at them, they still look at you as if you’re not even real. Their gaze intimidates you, but yours doesn’t intimidate them in the least, they keep on doing it while you have the decency to look away.

The Golden Rule of Guy Code is NEVER look a strange guy in the eye, and never never never stare. When a guy looks another guy in the eye outside of conversation, it means one of two things: “I want to fuck you” or “I want to kill you.” If guys are unsure of other guys, they’ll let it itch, they won’t dare check out another guy.

Why then, even if you’re a girl in guys clothing, will they not be in the least bit threatened by looking at a girl for extended periods of time? I was at Lars’ party the other night and two of the younger guys there (looked about 19) were staring in my direction as if to size me up. Both of them did it for about 5 minutes and then my group left. I was thinking WTF! It pissed me off that the two losers thought they had power over me that they could stare unchecked by social norms as if I wasn’t allowed to do anything about it. The ironic thing is that before-hand, Erik and I were playing with Lars’ padded sticks and were going at them when I accidentally punched him in the face hard!

My first thought when I see some guys staring at me is that they are staring at something behind me or next to me, so I ignore if for a while. If it persists, I’ll think there’s something about me that they don’t get, and then I’ll think they’re trying to make me uncomfortable. If it gets to the point where I know for a fact that they’re looking at me, and they even hint at sexual reference, then I get super pissed off.

That’s against the rules stupid! You should be more afraid of looking me in the eye than any other guy! I just punched that 6 foot 3 guy in the face, what makes you think I won’t hesitate to smash your skull? Did you notice Ross, the stunt guy, talking to me about my wrestling background? Do you have a death wish? I’m not dressed like a hoe, there’s no reason for you to be staring in my direction because I’m a female and technically Guy Code doesn’t apply to females.

Any of you cock-swinging pansies try to pull that crap on me, you’ll get a foot up your ass and like it for the rest of your life! Freaking D.I.M.’s!

Friday, May 05, 2006

Other Women are Holding Me Down!

Ever notice how whenever the topic of women’s rights comes up, the first people to always shoot it down are women? During women’s sufferage, the main opponents of women voting were, guess what, women! In the case of this article, a writer states that mixed gender wrestling is morally wrong. I could accept the reader’s point of view because it made sense from their perspective and they have the right to their opinion, but only when I read that it was a woman who wrote the article did my mouth drop to the floor.

Mixed-sex Wrestling

Why do women hold each other down, and why are they the first ones to shoot each other down when it comes to their own rights, rights that would also benefit them? I’ve noticed that guys are very willing and actually eager to accept a woman as “one of the guys” provided she can walk the walk. The argument is that when a girl beats a guy at anything, he is humiliated. In my personally experience, I would go to wrestling and grappling gyms and tap out a whole line of guys, and afterwards they would stand in awe and say “wow! You are so cool!” In high school, my male teammates could care less that I changed in the same locker room as them, nor could my male coaches, and for that matter, not even the male vice principal. I made friends in my bra and panties, which sounds ridiculously sexual, but ironically wasn’t. It was only when the female principal found out that she put a stop to it and effectively alienated me from the rest of my team.

It just seems ironic that women’s greatest opponents would be other women. Why are other women so adamant about forfeiting their own rights and holding other women down in the process? Why are they the last to stand up for themselves and the first to sit back down? Why shoot themselves in the foot? Men are all in agreement about their rights, why is the female vote split down the middle? Half of them think they are equal, the other half think they aren’t human. What gives?

I have a theory, my theory is this. Most women who are voting responsibly are fairly educated and the women who run our country are some of the most intelligent humans on the planet. I think that a smart woman would want what is best for society before what is best for herself. In this way, women are thought responsible and applauded for putting her family, her country, her society before her own wants and needs and civil liberties. Supposedly this is honorable, to place yourself on the backburner, and to pursue ambitions for your own purposes is considered selfish and is stigmatized. I’ve noticed this slight taboo with girls in conservative families. Women are supposed to be humanitarian, so what is best for the big picture is always pushed first. Men are encouraged to think of the bigger picture too, but men don’t have a civil rights issue, except for maybe custody rights.

I think its women’s way of gaining respect, kinda like guys chug beer and abstain from sex for as long as they can, women forfeit their natural value. Its not that women don’t want equality, it’s that they prefer the respect they receive from not having it. It all kinda balances out, a quick-fix. Basically, women who agree with the chauvinistic male-dominated majority can hop into a conversation at a bar or go out with more men or advance their careers for supposedly being “smart.”

The problem is it holds them back. Society tells women that they’re okay if they are “disciplined enough to forfeit their natural rights,” what does this say about ones character? Nothing but good things.

When women put down other women, usually young, who are ambitious and want equality and freedom to move, they are doing three things: They are being reasonable by thinking about what is supposedly best for society (since female equality is going to lose the war, topple towers and kill the free world), they are helping other women find “their place” by educating them as to the way the world is and should be, and finally and probably most importantly they are defending themselves and ensuring that they keep receiving the respect they are receiving. How ironic that women say they don’t want anything and then fight for the respect that they want (??), it makes me wonder how far we could go if we just skip the first step and fight for what we want?

Lastly, is it at all possible that women could be jealous of other ambitious women? Prevailing attitudes of most people are “I had to go through it, so should you.” It’s amazing how many countries are destroyed solely by the gossip of old ladies. I’m not exactly sure if the female vote is split intentionally or it really is that women don’t want their rights.

Well one thing I know for sure, women who have rights don’t need to exercise them if they don’t want to, but one right the definitely don’t have is the right to hold other women down. It might not be hurting them, but its hurting someone else, and that’s not just wrong, it’s stupid.

Coming next week, A Female President. Good night Vietnam!