Friday, March 27, 2009

Who Watched the Watchmen?

Rotten Tomatoes gave Watchmen a 64%. What! RT complains that Snyder didn't stay true to Allan Moore's "vision" by spicing up the fight scenes, beautifying everyone, and changing dialogue.

First, let me throw it out there, this is a hard movie to understand if you have not read the novel. If you have read the novel, do not go see this movie with someone who has not, they will not get it and will ruin your experience.

This movie is essentially making fun of superheroes. The infamous Rorschach is a parody of the Question, and breaks the superhero code of honor: Superheroes don't kill people. Watchmen puts a grungy spin on the superhero by portraying it as if it were an actual profession, making the unreal completely realistic and they pretty much go around acting like rogue Blackwater operators.

But despite its namesake, Watchmen is NOT a superhero movie, it is a Human-hero movie. In the end when the twisted, completely f-d up climax of the whole movie is finally revealed, and all of those superheros with their psychic powers and technological turmoils are finally faced with the age-old dilemma of "what should we do," Rorschach, the guy in the trench coat with his only claim to superhero-dom being a sock over his face, was the only one who got it right.

A greater good in which even one person has to die unwillingly is not a greater good. Two wrongs don't make a right. "If you would have cared from the beginning, none of this would have happened."

Dr. Manhattan, the idealized image of "God," discovers the value of Humanity, which is one of the prime epiphanies of the movie. This is a Human-hero movie for the Y2K generation, who has never witnessed anything like this before.

People who were alive back when the cold-war was a reality and the doomsday clock was actually in the papers complain that this movie wasn't true to the original concept and has instead spun off into a cheap action thrill-ride. Well, I've got a bit of a newsflash, THIS MOVIE WASN'T FOR YOU! If Snyder would have made this movie for you, he would have made no money. This was for 18-25 year old's who literally just saw The Dark Knight like a second ago, that's what they're going to be comparing it to whether we like it or not. That is the reason for the hyped-up fight scenes and the dramatic undertones, the enhanced athleticism of the characters from fat, paunchy, average joes to actual superheros so that they didn't look like they were parading around in Halloween costumes, and unfortunately also for the raunchy porno sex scenes (18-25 year old wank-off's expect that from a movie made by the guy who did 300 because of Leonidas' patootie scene). Honestly, what is this new "purist" movement going around? Who wants to see movies that are too akin to real life? If I wanted to see a movie about an insurance salesman and his problems in life, or a senior analyst living an average life, I'd save myself the cash and just look outside. I go to movies to be entertained, and this movie still managed to be entertaining given the fact that it was basically charged with portraying a dead message (who the heck is afraid of the Soviets anymore).

In conclusion, this movie had a lot of turn-off's. The bone-crushing fight scenes and the porno sex were very annoying, but I understand why they were there. You have to be intelligent to understand this movie, Allan Moore's comic did not hand you the meaning on a silver platter, the majority of American's with a 6th grade reading level would have come out of the theater completely unentertained if they couldn't at least say there was some cheap sex and shoestring action to top it off.

The book hit hard, there is no doubt about the fact that Watchmen changed people, but my generation just isn't living in the cold-war, and this movie wasn't about the war on terror. It would have gone completely over our heads and for the most part, did. Take away about 1/8 from the books hit and that's about how hard the movie hits. For the time constraints, this movie still showcased all of Allan Moore's morals and original story epiphanies, the deeper meaning is there, unfortunately you will have to sit and think about it on your drive home to get it, it will not pop out at you.

Definitely go see this movie, but take it with a grain of salt.


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