Wednesday, June 21, 2006

I Know Why Men Don't Support Women

Men, I understand why you don’t support women, really I do, and I can't say I blame you. I understand exactly why the majority of men do not want to see women in the boy scouts, in business, in the priesthood, in the Fire Academy, in the military. I know you try to use rational reasons, citing “the safety and sanctity of the institution” as your main argument. But don’t worry, I know its all BS, I know you’re just frontin’. I don't want to sound presumptious when I say this (well maybe I do), but I know exactly what you’re thinking. A lot of men aren’t like this, but generally those within these institutions reek of it.

What would the world say if I said sex had nothing to do with it? I’ll bet they’d think I’m ridiculous. Men can’t be in the same room with a woman without having some sort of 5 second fantasy about her right? I don't know about that, but I know that’s not the reason men viciously defend the remaining all-male institutions against females. I'm not a guy, but after being completely emersed in guy code for the past few years of my life, I think I have a general idea of how things work. My best friends are guys, and no I'm not violating rule #21 of the Code which states "Never talk about Guy Code." (hehehe)

The real underlying reason for men’s non-acceptance of women is the Camaraderie. The “boys will be boys” allowance. The machoism. The Esprit de Corps. The right to the conversation topics that happen behind closed wrestling room doors or inside the men’s locker room, the stuff that other guys would understand from experience and not fault other men for. Not that this isn't a good reason, cameraderie is the stuff that builds friendships. Guys talk with other guys about stuff that makes them seem (gasp) not so tough and do things that other girls would think is absolutely disgusting and it's not like the guys care about impressing the sole female who is present, they're concerned about Little Miss going and telling all of her other girlfriends and never getting a date ever again. It’s also a way for guys to let other guys know that they trust them. Guys want the camaraderie that exists solely in all-male settings and will fight viciously for it. They want to make friends and they think that a woman present will hinder their ability to make friends.

Basically, the image that comes to mind when guys hear the word “girl” is of, well…a girl! Short, long hair, fat or thin but not muscular in the least, and boobs. It just messes everything up. I somewhat agree too. When I was grappling down at one of the gyms I used to train at, the Sensei made me grapple his girlfriend who was a black belt in Jeet Kun Do. But it didn’t matter how skilled she was, she was wearing the tight workout clothes that society says girls have to wear, and she had big boobs. I couldn’t work in her guard because putting my hand across her chest (even though I was another female) was just plain annoying! I wanted to grapple, not avoid her chest! And I didn’t just want to put my hand there either because…jesus I just didn’t want to! Image how a guy must feel, he comes to fight practice to fight, he’s got a girlfriend at home for that other stuff!

So I understand, and I can’t say I blame men for it. I wanted the same thing. I wanted the all-male atmosphere and the crassness and toughness of it all. The hard-core blood, sweat, but no tears attitude, everything, I wanted it. I got it too by casting off everything feminine about myself, and most male environments just simply made an exception for me. But I’m one in a million. There aren’t too many girls who revolt against femininity and manage to stay heterosexual. Most girls think the things men say amongst each other are insulting and degrading…I think they’re funny because I’m not too fond of females myself and plus I know that they are not talking about me (or maybe they are, lol). Guys like how I can roll with crass humor, the boys on the swim team that I would hang out with just kinda asked if I minded if they checked out girls while I was there, I said nah and it was all good. Most girls will get angry at guys or somehow be insulted, or physically they will make the really macho program into a pansy program. Guys don’t want to deal with that. I wouldn’t either.

It’s not like men blame women for being the way they are either though. They don’t blame women for showing off their bodies or for being “girly” and perky, they like girls like that. But they have been taught that that is the default model for woman, and that's just not the kind of thing that belongs in a Special Forces Group. The other type of woman, the strong muscular type, is a default lesbian and in the above institutions those are just as bad and all need to die. So the hell with it, all women are either incapable or lesbians, so screw it all just keep them all out! Its not women’s choice whether they want to be the way they are, its obviously nature, so god forbid we ask them to change, we can’t ask them to do anything that’s not natural (note sarcasm).

What I deeply respect about guys is the honor that is shown among men in same-gender friendships. It's kinda hard to describe from being on the outside, but that's what I picture when I think about honor. Friendship amoung guys from what I've seen is serious, it's earned in tough situations that require aliances, and those who tough it out together take a silent oath to hold each other up. It's almost sacred. Female friendships just don't have that, and while it's sometime's present in coed friendships and groups, it's just not the same. Even though female friendships make up in closeness, the lack of of that earned-in-blood honor just isn't the same.

I might be a little off with all of this Guy Code business, I had to pick up the programming as I went, it wasn’t handed out to me like the other half of the population. But I do understand it’s about the camaraderie. The military places a great deal of emphasis on camaraderie, its not just making friends. I agree that the girly, feminine, tampon issues should be kept out of these institutions of strength and performance at all cost…

But I won’t bring any of those with me!!! Can’t you make just one exception?????


Blogger Shara said...

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2:45 PM  
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