Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Oh My LORD!

PARIS (Reuters) - Pope Benedict, elaborating his views on evolution for the first time as Pontiff, says science has narrowed the way life's origins are understood and Christians should take a broader approach to the question.

Help! Religious Zealots are trying to push their crazy ideas on me again! Particularly Catholics who are all about “God created everything by snapping his fingers and saying Let There Be Lightbulbs!” Hence giving humans the ability to “think.”

Theists somehow believe that we can’t use our brains without God. They are so perplexed by this seemingly awe-inspiring thing called consciousness and our ability to do the simplest thing imaginable (think) that they’re ultimately confused. They have a thought and they’re like “Wow, where did that thought come from,” and then they start thinking about it and are like “whoa! There it is again! Where did it come from! I can’t see where it came from, so therefore God must have put it there!” It’s like that one episode of the Simpson’s where the Mayor was searching for who was stealing the water (it was going down the drain).

Catholics in particular are mesmerized by the simple innate ability to just plain think, and their reasoning is that since we can’t throw a thought under a microscope, it must be divine. They think that means that the burden of proof is on the scientific community to disprove God and they can go ahead and keep turning a blind eye to all the progress we’re making with science because “science can’t explain the ability to think.”

Okay, maybe your biology professor lost you in college, so maybe you weren’t paying attention when you were studying this thing called a brain, which is an actual organ that if I shoot you in you die, it’s responsible for intelligent thought. Since you seem to only understand idiot-speak, I’ll dumb it down for you. There’s a bunch of things called neurons and lots of other cells with big long names, and the electric charge they create allows you to think. Now, I know this is sounding very farfetched to you people who believe the earth was created sometime in the last ten thousand years, but I think it’s a much better rational explanation than “an invisible man in the sky is controlling our minds.”

That’s the thing with you guys, you never listen to reason. We can throw all the evidence in the world at you, but if a single “i” isn’t dotted, you blow us off and stay in denial, which is ultimately what you’re doing right now. Ever since Science came up with a rational explanation, even if only in theory, for just about everything, you wannabe-philosophers have picked your brains to come up with weird theories that aren’t mentioned anywhere in the bible like “Intelligent Design” and whatnot. Correct me if I’m wrong, but there has never been ANY empirical evidence to hint at the existence of God, the only thing that’s ever given you your case is the lack of empirical evidence to disprove him. You still have absolutely nothing!

So when you start talking about things like Evolution like they are theories, it really starts to get old. I mean Evolution sometimes take millions of years, how do you expect us to recreate that in a laboratory? We’ve already come up with mountains of scientific evidence that we can pretty much see what the picture on the 5000 piece puzzle is without needing the other few missing pieces, why can’t you? You still cling to the idea that some entity magically created us, and then accuse scientists of saying the same thing. Well no, actually they’re not, finding Dolphins with remains of legs and finding animals like mudskippers who bridge the gap from fish to frog isn’t exactly magic, it’s empirical evidence. Yet you downplay it and say that we really don’t have that much evidence! OH GOSH what more do you want? Domestication is an example of evolution, and though we show you a marine iguana and a desert iguana, you’ll still staunchly sit there and insist that they weren’t at some point in time related. You’re too proud to admit that man is an ape and an animal with a scientific name, and I’m convinced that you’ll never be convinced.

"Just who is this 'nature' or 'evolution' as (an active) subject? It doesn't exist at all!" the Pope said.

Okay well if you want to take that approach, neither does your “rationality” or “conscious thought” for that matter since you can’t throw it under a microscope. Therefore your God doesn’t exist either if he is the God of thought and thoughts don’t exist. But thoughts DO exist in the same sense that nature exists, but if there is thoughts but no nature…isn’t there a word for that?...oh yes.

I smell a hypocrite.

"Science has opened up large dimensions of reason and thus brought us new insights," the Pope himself seems to agree with me on most cases as well. "But in the joy at the extent of its discoveries, it tends to take away from us dimensions of reason that we still need. Its results lead to questions that go beyond its methodical canon and cannot be answered within it," okay, basically you’re saying that the only thing religion is good for is a tool for exercising thought…or those “dimensions of reason” that you’re talking about. Wow, from the Pope’s own mouth, religion is nothing more than a philosophy, an ideal!

So Religion teaches us to be good people, and supposedly without religion the world would be filled with hate and crime and evil etc. Well the funniest thing I ever saw in a movie was a gang banger going to church. Not so funny when it’s a Muslim extremist blowing himself up in the name of, oh, GOD!

You’re still clinging to ideas that were created before running water was invented and trying to make me cling to them too! Well sorry, I’m a little more practical. I know you have a “whole other world” of existence to explore, but I do to, it’s called my imagination. And if God is thought, and thought exists, then I guess we agree…God is all in my imagination!

(Thank you, I’m here till Thursday)

You can believe whatever you want to believe, but in that case, so can I. Don’t push your crazy ideas on me. It’s really starting to get annoying.

1 Comments:

Blogger C-dell said...

I agree I do not understand why rational explanations of things are so threatning to those people. I think that the truth somewhere b/t the two.

10:38 AM  

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