Friday, April 06, 2007

Cure Autism! NOW DAMMIT!

"Sometimes I feel angry when I read about attempts being made to 'cure' autism. I do not wish to be 'cured' from my autism, and many autistic persons who are able to communicate their feelings, say the same thing."

I’m sure a lot of you know people who have young autistic children. The kids that are absolute brainiacs and can do prime factorization like a computer but have weird mannerisms and stare up at ceiling fans for hours or don’t sit still. You haven’t seen autism until you’ve seen an Autistic teenager!

They’re hopeless! Weirdo’s from some other dimension who speak in binary code and think that the way to make friends is by going up and saying “my shirt has a kitty on it.” Oh gosh the speech pathologists are shaking their heads going “no Billy, complement their clothes not your clothes.” These kids can’t hold a conversation for their life, are masters at murdering jokes, are the people in the group that always manage to humiliate themselves in a way that it humiliates everyone else in the group, and are just plain strange.

I’m not talking Napoleon Dynamite strange, I’m talking Napoleon without the Dynamite, kids that are so messed up that they have no cute qualities about them, no attractive personalities, repelling auras, but an insane knowledge of every species of gymnosperm on the planet. They often have no friends because they’re not stupid enough to be special ed, so they sit in regular ed classes at the back of the class. Even geeks make fun of these kids, they're so incapable of socializing that they've even been rejected by the rejects! They’re often the object of kids ridicule, and at lunch they read a book instead of hang out with friends. They excel at repeated activities, everyone remembers the autistic waterboy who scored 27 points in a high school basketball game.

We all know someone like this, and chances are that 5 times out of 10 (since now one in 250 kids are born with some form of autism), they’re autistic. But the strangest thing about a lot of kids like these who know they have this disorder, who’ve been on meds and hospitalized for this disorder, wouldn’t want to be cured!

This is not the first person with autism I’ve heard say they don’t want to change, I used to be the same way. Autistic teens somehow get it in their mind that having this disorder makes them special and makes them who they are, and they wouldn’t want to change who they are. Oh god forbid, don’t make me part of the “collective!” “I’m original!”

“I’m Special!”

You stupid loners! You have no clue what you’re talking about! No, I’m not afraid to call you stupid because I’m one of you, I know how your inverted mind works! You don’t know what society is really like because you’ve never been in it. You don't know what it's like to have people who have your back no matter what and someone to go to the mall with and a group to have fun with. The ride is so much funner if you're sitting next to someone you call friend. You’ve never integrated yourself into a group of people, so you don’t know what it’s like to be part of a group of people. You don’t know what you’re missing because you’ve never had it. But some like you have had it, and some like you have had it and lost it because of your “special” people skills. You’re amazing ability to drive people away and award winning joke killers are astounding, why, you’re practically a joke sniper! You shoot down girls without even knowing how, and you insult peers without even knowing you have. Your existence is in itself offensive, but you don’t see it because you’re stuck in your own little Autistic world and you think that’s okay!

Maybe you’d march straight up to the doctors and researchers working on a cure and say to them “No Thank you, I’m just fine the way I am.” But then of course I’d come over and punch the living daylight out of you, you stupid ingrate crack-babies. In sci-fi novel’s you’re all euthanized! You don’t know how horrible it is like to be cursed against friendship and intimacy!

So the hell with all you disabled kids, Cure me dammit! I want to be part of the collective, I want to join society! I don’t like who I am, I don’t want to be autistic anymore! I don’t want anymore meds or counselors or psychologists or evaluations or peers avoiding me like the plague. I don’t want special education and home aids, or learning programs designed for the autistic brain, or weird looks when I say something insane. I want groups of cool friends who tell funny jokes and say cool things and hang out with me and don't dress like losers or punks. I don't care, make me a poser! But God please no longer a Loner! I’ll throw away my alternative humor and fall in line, I swear I will! Love me people, please oh please! Take me to movies and hang out with me!

If I had all the money in the world, where can I go to get rid of me?

I don’t want to be Autistic, please cure me!


I found something interesting on Youtube. This is for the parents of SEVERELY AUTISTIC children, the ones who I'm not ragging on in the post above. A hospital in Costa Rica is doing work with Adult Stem Cells on Autistic Patients and claims to have pretty much a CURE. In case the vid doesn't work properly, it's called the Institute of Cellular Medicine in Costa Rica.


Blogger Billychic said...

I think that teenagers in general don't know what the hell they're talking about...

However, I think I know a lot of adults that deal with other issues, i.e. severe depression, mental/psychiatric problems that require medication, etc - and you'll find a lot of people don't want to receive the help they could get because they are afraid it will take away a piece of them instead of giving them the relief they so desperately need - but don't realize they need until after they receive it..

And therein lies the Catch-22.

Interesting post...

9:39 AM  
Blogger Infinitesimal said...




It's been my focus in life.

Since I was, about 11.


I dunno what to say in a "blog comment" but have you heard the theory of the vaccinations? How mothers have said,
"I took my normal baby in to be vaccinated and I came out with an autistic baby."

Also, have you heard the term Aspergers Syndrome?

If you are thinking you are autistic, I would suggest you have Asperger's Syndrome instead... it's in the autism spectum disorder, but it is different because the people dignosed are able to communicate.

Lots of autistic folks are unable to speak or write.

Did you know the majority of people with autism are male?

I would like it if you would come and visit my blog sometimes.

There is a reason why i am interested in autism... it is a spectrum, it comes in many levels, you know?

8:28 PM  
Blogger Nikki_Jilton said...

Okay you just said everything that I've heard over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and OVER AGAIN since I was freaking 12. Yeah I know about vacinations with too much mercury and Aspergers and Retts syndrome and all that crap that falls under the "spectrum" and everyone just calls it Autism because aspergers sounds funny (ass-burgers). The kids would be better off dead. I say line them up on the dodgeball wall and shoot'em, high functioning or not, most only kill themselves later in life anyway if they actually come outside their little socially-isolated bubble and experience the real world.

2:28 PM  
Blogger Infinitesimal said...

Well Nikki,

I did not know you had heard it over and over and over again since you were 12.

I guess I was just doing the baseline, "are we on the same page?" remarks.

My experience is that you can teach yourself to be social, by observation and mimickry. If you find someone you can notice is popular and identify that which seems to be a mannerism, then you can adopt that mannerism.

Collect enough mannerisms and you have a method of becoming accepted.

It's kind of a crap way to develop a personality, but it does put you in the mainstream.

There was this one kid, who "grew out of it" when he was in his mid twenties. He took over the family business and just, ....started. (but he was autistic, and non-verbal) The family had refused to medicate him or put him in a group home, and they just accepted him, and did not freak out over it.

It is, a brain disorder though, and nobody can figure it out.
But the difference between autism and aspergers is the social thing.
people with autism are so totally out of it, that they just stare off and phase out. People with aspergers are in the moment, and with it, they just have problems with the social aspect.

It's obvious that you are pretty upset by this situation.

I think really, people do tend to "grow out of it" when it comes to aspergers

Well, I just wanted to say, that I sort of know what you are going through... but like I said, it is a spectrum disorder, and it has various levels.

I hope you grow out of it Nikki.
I think it's possible.

3:03 PM  
Blogger Nikki_Jilton said...

Oh I'm in complete denial that I have it, and so far that seems to be working.

8:31 PM  
Blogger Infinitesimal said...


You have just shut down my inner dialog.

I like you.

1:11 AM  
Blogger Infinitesimal said...

hey you should come play this game with us... it's hard, but fun, you might like it...

9:34 PM  
Anonymous Chris Marsh said...

I certainly agree with the sentiment. Asperger problems fall typically into one of three categories, and how it makes us feel:

I. Employment: being economically dependent almost without regard to education and with some respect to age, injustice whenever one is confronted with average income by educational level, second-class citizenship, like being untouchable in India, at worst applying for SSI for lack of hope.

Solution: target occupations with minimal competition, think possibly computers. The state of Maryland trained me in computers in 1999 after I had my Master's. It worked.

Limited in other occupations: the interview is frequently where you lose, even if the facts on your resume are indisputable. Inferior candidate generally preferred if he or she fits in better: human beings generally have little patience to modify social interaction when necessary. I got 35 interviews in social research and 50 to 60 interviews in social services in my lifetime, with no offers.

II. Peer Abuse

Starts in elementary school and gets progressively worse until high school, but even in college dorms does not go away. Teasing for certain, likely physical bullying, possibility open for sexual abuse.

It is usually boys (or young men) bullying boys (or young men). Women or girls don't usually bully or tease males, especially not in school, at worst ignore. Not sure who victimizes women or girls: maybe both genders.

Options: Limited. Report any physical or esp. sexual abuse within seven years. Please, to take those abusers out of circulation and send the message that it will not be tolerated.

Campaign for zero tolerance in schools. Tell school officials if they don't support zero tolerance, employers will, and the kids won't be ready to face employment in modern society. Employers may resist initial hires who are different but successful hires have the same rights under law regardless of disability.

III. Emotional Intimacy

Most problematic. Many average people may believe intimacy is impossible with people A/HFA/AS. I for one in no uncertain terms say we with AS have feelings, not convinced AS precludes intimacy. In any case, in my experience, zero in high school, very rare in higher education, still rather rare 10 and 15 years after college.

Options: None. I have two uncles who call what I suspect is AS the (family) curse. One is never married at the age of 64. The other is 72 and married at 62 or 63.

Even if you could spread public awareness on this issue you would run the danger of contaminating a person's free will. You do not want attention for the wrong reason. A relationship based on "I am not prejudiced" is no better than the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Naturally, this is not covered in the ADA, either.

Would recommend that people who generate public awareness on this issue either be in relationship or have given up, and made that clear.

On the job, people (except fools) know they have no freedom to consider this issue between themselves, to accept or reject. If you get a Chernobyl out of it, better it be somewhere uninhabited, certainly not in the Great Plains that feeds the whole friggin world. It may be before your time but an awful lot of food was destroyed after Chernobyl. The Soviets were too desperate to throw away food. They made sure everyone got some.

It may even be necessary to have one Chernobyl in your life to understand. Could be life threatening (suicide), but a necessary learning experience or thing to understand and apply.


Life certainly would be easier with average neurology but that is not our call to make. No one asked us to volunteer, we are all drafted, the only difference is who likes it, or at least accepts it, and who doesn't.

The primary motivation for my Master's in sociology was to understand Earth and the neurotypical people on it, because let's face it, we're going to be here a while.


But, understand this, too.

Evidently an intelligent Creator willed Asperger or autism to happen, to some.

You can tell your Mom the cookies were burnt, but would you tell God His cookies tasted bad?

Here's one for all you spectrums in Christ: when you started living for Him instead of to sin, God gets to say who you are. Not any list of negative adjectives. Jesus said He would take rejecting people PERSONALLY (Matt 25).

Personally. With everlasting torment.

I saved that last part for the child molesters.

8:57 AM  
Blogger Nikki_Jilton said...

Okay everyone, observe. The post above is a classic example of autism. Everyone pay close attention, here's how I know (oh and not trying to be offensive to anyone here and sorry for putting spotlight on the poor guy above me, don't take it personally).

1. His post is ridiculously long. You can always tell an aspie by their seeming Encyclopedic knowledge of just about everything that doesn't matter and doesn't make anyone any money, especially about their "condition." Ask them for an answer and they'll give you an essay. I do it too sometimes, that's why I'm a Blogger ;).

2. He's embraced his "condition." I can tell because he actually said "neurotypical." For everyone else, nerotypicall means people who aren't autistic. LOL ADD people are concidered neurotypical. People with autism know everything there is about it and they know how THEY would cure it.

3. He talks about bullying in school yet he obviously takes the opinion that "if I didn't see it or experience it" it doesn't exist. Girls get bullied HARDCORE in school dude, by other boys and girls. That whole "boys bully girls because they like them" not true at all. Girls bully boys too, you obviously haven't been in school for a long time. I certainly got bullied and I am a girl. My solution to the problem: tell the kids to fight. Someone's picking on him hardcore and making his life miserable, one square punch usually sorts the bully out. Pft, advocacy, try self-advocacy.

4. His solution to curing it is to change the world, not change himself. Most aspies have been brainwashed into thinking there's nothing wrong with them. Oh really? Then why can't they get jobs? Why can't they make friends? Why aren't they accepted in society? There's something VERY wrong with them and I'm just not going to sugar-coat it anymore. But the good-news is that there's nothing so wrong with you that you can't change it. It's just like teaching a dyslexic person to read, they can learn to read and they have to as well, so you can all learn to socialize and you have to too.

5. Going off topic and being excellent at bringing something in that has nothing to do with anything. I'm not sure what child-molesters have to do with Autism, but in his mind, if you follow through all the steps, the conversation will eventually come to child molestors and God. he just skipped a bunch of steps in between in the conversation that were supposed to lead up to it. Don't worry, I do it to, many do, just don't do that in a real convorsation it ticks people off.

And that is exhibit A (A for Autism). Sorry man, like I said, don't take anything personally. I'm out.

9:26 PM  
Anonymous Grillo said...

I am everything you said in your original blog, but I'm not autistic.And I am a loner. I have three friends, no joke, and right now I don't care. I tell myself that right now I don't care because I'm thinking of school instead, but my grades and attendance is crappy. I say it'll all matter later, but I dunno. I know it matters now. I don't like myself too much. But most of the time I honestly don't care, because I feel I'm here to watch. I change moods, but now that I think about it, I think that I had one mood change, in 7th, from social and liked, to I don't give a damn because people don't give a damn and trying is failing.I just want to hear from you. You sound like my friend who is social. Or a guy a knew as a friend, now not so much. You do sound like the ideal friend for me, but I'm strange and was way too honest here. Later.

8:15 AM  
Blogger Nikki_Jilton said...

email me.

11:03 AM  
Blogger Christopher said...

Short and sweet:

1. No offense taken, Nikki.
2. Name's Chris Marsh, age 37, few miles south of Wash. Monument, web developer 8 years, and yes, saved since age 23
3. Just offering solutions for the big three issues, some of which don't apply to you youngins, yet.
4. Use neutral language. If you didn't see it or can't prove it, don't allege it.
5. There are too many idiots on Earth to change them.
6. AS is a difference. Disability is a value judgment. No we don't coordinate socially or nonverbally. But we do focus on the job, ignore distractions, think creativity, are very prejudice resistant, and so on.
7. I am qualified to discuss childhood abuse because I've been there. Just because someone older thought I was mentally retarded. Literal thinking you know. That is the greatest contempt to show someone with AS, to violate them.
8. God gets to make people different even if they don't like it. And God loves little kids. If you don't believe I understand, but otherwise, your problem is with God. And anyone strong enough to create the universe doesn't need your approval.
9. You asked why aspies are mistreated, because the people who bother them are also handicapped. Anyone who can't relate to people who come in peace is handicapped. The racists, the religious haters, mean NTs, the problem is theirs. We simply see the world differently but usually mean well. After that, having to live in their world is the problem.
10. Learn as much as you can about this world, to get the best you can out of it.

1:21 PM  
Blogger Christopher said...

Please note I did not say don't seek rehabilitation. Yes dammit, seek some rehabilitation, you have to meet them halfway at some point. Social skills training, yes. A new career, maybe. Web design was not my first career, grad school for social research was. Social science is helpful because it describes society in ways any intelligent educated person can understand. But we can't do tolerance for every NT, they must do it themselves (many have, a few need to).

1:28 PM  
Anonymous washwords said...

wow. totally fascinating. I hope you write again/more. Seriously, better than anything I've read academically on this. and extremely well-written to boot. I like your blog a lot. bring it back!

5:23 PM  
Blogger Ettina said...

"His solution to curing it is to change the world, not change himself. Most aspies have been brainwashed into thinking there's nothing wrong with them. Oh really? Then why can't they get jobs? Why can't they make friends? Why aren't they accepted in society? There's something VERY wrong with them and I'm just not going to sugar-coat it anymore."

It used to be that if you were a gay man, you could be charged with a crime just for having consensual sex with someone you loved. It used to be that if your employers found out you were gay, you'd probably get fired, especially in the military. It used to be treated as an inherent part of being gay that you'd be easy to blackmail because you wouldn't want anyone to know. It used to be that if you were gay, you were supposed to seek treatment to make you normal.
Being gay was a big problem for a person back then. It isn't now. Why? Because gay people and their allies changed society.

11:22 AM  
Blogger Nikki_Jilton said...

Apples to Oranges, Gay isn't a disorder, you'd be better off calling it a skin-color. And yes I am all for gay-rights.

3:21 PM  
Blogger Nikki_Jilton said...

and to goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone...still waiting on your email man.

8:42 PM  
Blogger Fyretyger 42 said...

She didn't grow out of it... She just totally owned it and went all in to her own reality and damn the body count left in the trail...

9:32 PM  

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